can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
