worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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