Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
