Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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