She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
