there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
