Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
