And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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