Swine flu. Run for my life!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
