I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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