Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Randomize
