go do what you do best...puke behind churches
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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