Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize