fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
