wanna go halves on a baby?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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