how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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