Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
