Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think my fart just growled at me.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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