If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
