No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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