Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize