I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
