New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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