I'm gonna have a badass scar
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
