Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
