I would go down on you faster than GM stock
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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