so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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