he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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