Where did you get a picture of my penis
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
