I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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