i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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