The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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