question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
