Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We had to coat check the pizza.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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