just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
