I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
