I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
