nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
