yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
