I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my being single is dangerous.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
