Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
