i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
