What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
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I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
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But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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