alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize