I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think my vagina is haunted
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
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