you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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