You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize