I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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