yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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