this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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