I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
