butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
