he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I have surprise drugs for everyone
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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