Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
