I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
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Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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