Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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