my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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