Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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