I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
