Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
